#dont worry my writing and art is all flawed by me baby

[heartstringsduet]

Saw a post about AI writing fanfiction and i was like. you know what? Let me see what AI thinks a dialogue scene between TK and Carlos could be like regarding kids. Beside the way this could be two robots talking to each other, not remotely what they said in S4 which I added to the prompt and yet... agreeing on everything, there are some aspects where I'd hopes it'd be worse. But even it had been the best dialogue I ever read, I'd never be over it being STOLEN and SOULLESS. My favorite part about this is how GENERIC it is. It's like they're TRYING at a conversation. What irks me is that AI is better than me at at least keeping the focus on the topic. Couldn't ever be my brain LOL. Anyway kids, don't do this at home <333

TK: Definitely. And I think it would be amazing to give a kid a loving home, the kind of home I didn’t always have growing up.

Carlos: Me too. We could give them everything we didn’t have. Plus, think of all the stories we’d have to tell. The adventures, the lessons…

TK: Like the time we faced down that tornado together. Or when you taught me how to properly cook a steak.

Carlos: Exactly. And who knows, maybe they’ll take after you and join the fire department.

TK: Or they might want to follow in your footsteps and become a cop. Either way, we’d support them.

[vrnicky]

Hey there lovely~ ;)

Can I get a matchup? I’m open to any of your boys of course! Doesn’t have to be a skeleton

To sum up my personality: I’m pretty chill and playful most of the time. I’ve been told I have a patience soul, and it’s pretty hard to offend me. I absolutely love teasing and flirting and love chaos when I cause it, but tend to act as the mom when other people start it. I’m definitely more of an introvert, but I’m not shy. I just value my alone time. I’m a pretty private person and don’t like talking about my problems with other people

Strengths: creative, patient, thick skinned, forgiving, happy, easy to impress/please

Flaws: procrastinator, needs space, sucks at texting, dumb with body language and will not catch your cues lol 

Hobbies: art, writing, reading, history, mythology, hiking, fishing, camping, baking, board games and anime

Dislikes: the color blue lol, math, large bodies of water, clowns, enchiladas, the dark

Pet peeves: clinginess, dirty/disorganized house, lack of spine

Deal breakers: excessive violence/aggressiveness (like at me or well meaning people, self defense is fine), wanting no kids, criminal behavior

You're not bad yourself~ ;)) thanks for waiting lol

I match you with.... Balam! (Farmfell Papyrus)

Okay okay, listen, you could match with almost all my boys so have mercy on me with this option-

Being honest, if he gets your attention first, he will make it worth it lol. He knows he its a big deal and he believes he's hard, which is not this case.

He looks scary but believe me, he will enjoy your playful attitude! And even some flirts, he doesn't back up that easily of course. Tho the fact of you having a patience soul doesn't affect him or well, he doesn't show it, as he is a stubborn head you either calling him on his stuff or just waiting for him to cool down.

When you act like a mother hen with your own friends or his friends, he will just help you lecture them or think to himself how cute you look being worried or annoyed.

If you are already easy to impress, Balam would impress you even more, lately he has been taming wild horses, fixing the barns, not using the shirt while working and having the ecto out lol.

Dont worry at sucking at texting or body language, he is kinda like that as well. He only uses his phone is big emergencies and his voice is pretty loud already and he only knows when someone is anxious because of Farren but thats it.

You want to be a mother one day? Balam always wanted a family one day and he will appreciate you being in home mostly, he can take care of building everything in the house like the babies room!

His dates will always be romantic, candles, a nice plate of nice food, in the night, just the two of you. He will always make time for you, dont worry if he looks busy, he isn't just for you. Just for you he will be free.

The way he would have confessed would have been with a letter, asking you to meet him in the park. The view of a very well dressed Balan with a big bouquet of flowers to ask you out.

If you were curious of all the boys that were the second choice was Farren, Coffee and classic Papyrus!

[cherrycokeboy]

11 questions

(except it’s 22 because i’m doing two at once lol) tagged by the lovely @unnagi and @llesbianwrites!!! i shall do unnagi’s first~ (it’s under the cut because it’s very long i’m sorry!)

1. what’s the hardest character to write? easiest?

hardest are the ones about whom i haven’t thought while outlining? they’re very vague, and have a point for existence, but i haven’t talked to them and it’s frustrating. the easiest are the ones who are present while outlining!!

2. do you listen to music when writing? if so, what kind of music & playlist? if not, do you have playlists for your ocs/wips?

A L OT of music. i can’t work without music most of the time. my playlists differ from story to story, but mostly, i just listen to my liked songs in the order, because it reflects my mindset for around a month! i have one called “two ghosts”, it’s just 4 sappy + sad songs which is for my nano project..........................

3. do you work on multiple wips at once? why or why not?

i can do three max, because i need breaks from each wips to think about them before i can continue.

4. is there a scene that’s difficult to work with?

a scene without much emotions is very difficult, i usually focus on the emotions over everything!

5. is there a character that is making a scene difficult?

not at the moment.

6. what are your characters’ flaws? are they’re aware of them?

they’re depressed, and worry over things too much. i don’t think they’re aware of it entirely, but they know it isn’t considered “normal”

7. do you have any snacks for when your writing?

no

8. what is your character’s kryptonite?

their illness :(

9. do you have other hobbies?

i read, play basketball, and i’m learning to art and calligraphy!

10. favorite pretty word you learned this year?

all of the words written in an essay (i can’t remember the title of it ><) by William Something

11. would you be doing NaNo this year? if so, any wip for it? if not (and if yes), is there any other monthly event you planned to be involved in?

I AM !!!!!!!! THIS IS MY FIRST YEAR!!!!!!!!!!1 my wip is a fanfic, which i want to make my last fanfic for the pairing, so i can move to some other pairing~ i don’t think i’ll be involved in anything else.

now, onto llesbianwrites’ questionsssss!!!

1. do any of your characters collect things? if so, what? is there any significance?

they don’t~

2. what’s the easiest part of writing for you?

the part where Things Happen and i, the writer, just let them Happen without a second thought

3. what part of writing do you enjoy the most?

I LOVE WRITING KISS SCENES, AND BODY WORSHIP WITHOUT SMUT AND BODIES TOUCHING BODIES AND TALKING THEIR HEARTS OUT AND very subtle affection from a cold character and the other one Notices it and feels nice about it

4. do you like making moodboards and playlists for your characters?

i don’t they’re very difficult for my braincell

5. which character of yours do you think you’d get along with best?

i,,,,,,,,, wouldn’t. with any of them. they’re all a kind of projections of myself in worst and best situations and what i think are ideal and i know those are the people i find annoying and get jealous of JESUS CHRIST

6. if you could pick one book that had the biggest impact on your writing, which would it be?

Khaled Hosseini’s “The Kite Runner”. it made me feel things i had never felt and it’s the first book to get me near to crying !!!!!!!!! please read it if you haven’t yet. it’s beautiful. i’m scared to re-read it because i’m afraid i’ll cry and i hate crying in public and i don’t like stopping if i begin

7. first or third person perspective?

 third ftw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8. what are your character’s favorite colors?

i’m going with junhee with this one: black, and anything which matches with her jewelry (that’s right, that’s how she chooses her outfits!)

9. their favorite tea?

junhee is a water person, but likes lemon occassionally!!

10. do you work in bursts of creativity or steady, consistent progress?

if it’s a wip, it’s consistent. but i usually don’t have such works and prefer bursts of creativity.

11. talk about your most recent wip! what’s the synopsis?

it’s still in outline process but i love the characters so much !!!!!!!!!!1 i want to !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeet myself out !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i love the plot. it’s going to be a little on the heavy topics side, and i really hope (this is going to sound shallow) it doesn’t flop. it’ll be my BABY baby and i just. want people to like it a lot, you know?

idk if this is a synopsis or a summary but here goes nothing: 

“three thousand reasons to leave, and yet.” Junmyeon believes life is coated with various layers of oil paints: useless, but makes the art what it is. He’s fascinated by art, and art galleries are his safe place. ‘Oceanwind’ is his current favourite artist, the of Oceanwind art brings him to a blurry, warm place. Which, turns out, is 7 years before, when he held Sehun close to his body for the first time, after his first heartbreak.

i dont care if it isn’t heavy now tbh I JUST WANT TO WRITE ABOUT BEING A BOY AND LOVING ANOTHER PERSON AND FEELING SAD AND LIKING ART

ok so uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i cannot form questions with my braincell please use the same questions above they’re a lovely set !!!!! and i’ll be tagging some people, but please remember it’s totally optional!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @merlyn-bane @pens-swords-stuff @writinginslowmotion and @dogwrites !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[technoraine]

ALL OF THE NUMBERS

a..all of them?

ALRIGHT BUCKLE IN KIDDOS

1. do you have a good relationship with your parents?

my mom and stepdad try their best, but uh its really stressful. i love them both but sometimes it gets really hard. My stepmom is pretty great, she actually tries to get to know what i like and actually cares about my problems. Im closest with my dad. He’s done a lot for me and I would be lost without him.

2. Who did you last say “I love you” to?

My dad. 

03: Do you regret anything?

lots of things. I wish I would have done a lot of things differently in high school, maybe tried to get more involved? 

04: Are you insecure?

yeah, quite a bit actually... but I’m learning. its slow and tedious but im working on it

05: What is your relationship status?

single ;3

06: How do you want to die?

peacefully? and happy.... if i can die happily in my sleep when im old that would be ideal.

07: What did you last eat?

because I am the ideal image of healthy habits, i had an applesauce and a cookie for dinner. whoops lol

08: Played any sports?

used to be on a soccer team when i was little! i liked being goal cause i could stand there lol

09: Do you bite your nails?

not really. I pick under my nails a lot, but never really bite them. 

10: When was your last physical fight?

physical fight? christ, like grade nine or something??? I’m afraid of violence so i try to talk my way out instead of fight...

11: Do you like someone?

I think so, I mean I can never really tell what exactly im feeling or if I like them because I’m kinda lonely but uh, yeah? lets go for that.

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

oh yeah! Me and my brothers used to build forts and stay up all night as kids! 

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Right now, not really?? Trump isn't great, and maybe check back later when my stepdad comes home lol.

14: Do you miss someone?

I miss my best friend. That’s by far the worst part of being done school... 

15: Have any pets?

I have an older cat named Pepper and a new kitten named Hunter! we also have fish! at my dads that is.

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

pretty alright! 

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

Bro, I havent even kissed anybody yet lmao

18: Are you scared of spiders?

big ones. little ones are okay if they are not on me for very long or at all.

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Nah, I would think about it but paradoxes and stuff.

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

My dreams?? lol

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

Mass effect trilogy binge if I can. unless my mom has plans already?

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

Honestly I’m terrified of ever having kids. I just look at my mom and stepdad and decide that I never want to end up like that... But at the same time maybe having one kid would be alright? maybe I can adopt...

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

used to have my ears pierced but im a fool and let the holes close

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

Language Arts. It was my favourite class, I had a good teacher too for the last couple years of highschool.

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

My step brother. we didnt see eye to eye and there were a lot more fights in the house but.... now its too quiet. but the past is the past and we have to move forward...

26: What are you craving right now?

something sweet and sugary. like a slushy or somethin’

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

...yeah. 

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

no, thankfully.

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

nope. only dated once in like grade 7-8 pfft lol

30: What’s irritating you right now?

the fact I cant get my crap together. I live in a constant state of annoyance with myself lol

31: Does somebody love you?

My family does. My friends might, i dont actually know.

32: What is your favourite color?

aquamarine? according to google the paint colour is called hawaiian green. if you google image search it it should be the first image

33: Do you have trust issues?

usually i’m too trusting and then it bites me in the ass. other times im not trusting enough. c’est la vie 

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

i cant remember. Honestly it probably had garrus&shepard in it. I may have a slight problem forming 

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

my therapist. oh my god thats sad.

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

That is one of my major flaws yo. bit me in the ass a couple times.

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

I forgive and then move on. I try not to forget some things, kinda keep it as a lesson?

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

No, I’m worried that my mental and physical health is going to plummet but im trying my best to make it a good year.

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

kiss on the cheek when i was like 14 but nothing more than that

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

Oh god no. I think i would die.

51: Favourite food?

I love salmon. Like, really love salmon.

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

yup. I mean whether good or bad it must have happened for a reason so I’m trying my best to roll with lifes punches...

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

...write fanfiction....dont judge me.

54: Is cheating ever okay?

games? oh yeah sure, makes it more fun once in awhile. on a partner? oh hell no

55: Are you mean?

I dont think I am? I think I’m a pretty nice person, or at least I try to be. Got lots of empathy but doesn't always mean im nice i guess?

56: How many people have you fist fought?

one, just my brother on one occasion lol

57: Do you believe in true love?

to a degree yeah! its a nice thought!

58: Favourite weather?

Raining. oh my god i love the rain.

59: Do you like the snow?

sometimes. A little bit is good and i like it. but like 6 months of it and i get real tired real fast.

60: Do you wanna get married?

yes! i think i would really enjoy it.

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

I think it would be cute if we were dating. if we’re not dating or really close friends its a little weird

62: What makes you happy?

lots of things! video games, drawing most of the time, my characters, sunrises, rain, long car rides, seeing my friends, disney, etc etc

63: Would you change your name?

nah. I like it.

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

well considering i’ve never kissed someone yeah? but if it counts for dream me then... still yeah because they dont exist oh my god thats kinda sad now that i think about it.

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

bro, sex/gender dont mind to me. probably babble like an idot and turn as red as a tomato as i tend to do. I’d be pretty happy i think

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

my best friend :3

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

my brother

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

again, my brother Riley

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

yup! platonic and romantic!

70: Is there anyone you would die for

okay I say there is but im afraid of dying lolllllll so in practice probably not, in theory oh definitely.

[tesscsanders-blog]

No Need

FREE WRITE AT DAWN IMAGINE A TWITTER PAGE KEPT BY GOD  THERE IS NO NEEED

God is without the kind of communication

that requires it. God’s voice is automatic and omnipresent it is rich truth below the other waves of sound. my gratitude is true. My aim is true and my high power is leading me where I am meant to go. I have known the difficulty of stringing words together.

How screenshots tell stories

How I search for TRAUMA

seek to define PORTENT

How the Lord is my light and my help, so whom shall I fear? How I get up and say “I’m ready”

I find proof and reminders of gratitude. I find encouragement humble and stoned. I find typos in wedding vows. Is this interesting content? Yes, Tess yes yes it is very interesting.

You are so beautiful.

HE WANTS ME TO SAY IT  remember the sun inside of me in Danville

I will have that sun again flowing up my vagina, that orgasm. The cellulite kissing dawn I saw the sun rise once and I lived to tell the tale  At the tail end is this exquisite dropping in,

how cool

the internet, how lucky, the living!

How blessed is my maker whom Phaedra prays for, too. The extent of my freedom is the extent to which I am willing to be not understood

Not understood  when I am not legible what happens?

This wrenching this wretched second-guessing and third helpings;  I have

belabored the metaphors of grief buffets

pretty sure I coined the term

grief buffet

is it a term of art?

a new business franchise?

People are ready for that kind of honesty, honestly, they are, even if they do not know it intellectually yet…. it’s all Grace, but especially the unbecoming

Am I doing this right? Yes. Less less less less more more more more more gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme some of that green sugar stuff it in there mmm mmmm ooohhh ohhhh deeper harder faster slower oh yeah just like that that’s right deeper this orgasm will save humanity this orgasm will right all of the wrongs mmmmm uhhhuh that’s the spot the redemption of all human kind right there, yup yeah yum yes that

In truth, the disgust is close to the surface. I am proud of who I am. Voice quaking like Tracy Chapman’s in the live recording of DONT GIVE UP with weird old Peter Gabriel

voice shaking

I think my friends are people. It scares me. I know my friends are human, it terrifies me.

Who are they? I have no idea! Humans as they are, they are foreign all the way. More alien than Foreigner mixed up in my psyche like the Greeks at the crux of breaking all of this up, are we? Once and for all

a free write to end all grief?

no thank you!

I know about waves and wires and tunnels and pummeling pummeling pummeling until I’m clenched in the womb. It doesn’t rhyme, but it’s my pain, it’s my loss, my potential my light to shine  BE KIND REWIND in my opinion not such a good film

when I realized ariana was following franky o the path of less resistance all-capsing the names of poems instead of italicizing

interrupting my flow state to call my sibling my unconscious mind wants their approval so bad wants simultaneously to dishonor their identity shout from the rooftops this isn’t about you sis this ain’t about you cuz it’s about me it’s about meeeee meeeee meeeee meeeeeeeee the way i am deep down convinced some nonbinary people are just flexing egos controversy the give and take of corn flakes replete i am afraid of that content i might delete THAT content

for sure deep sea fishing with sharks i’ve never been how imagination is procrastination a rose by any other name etc

My soul is thirsting for the living God; when shall I see him face to face?

a need greater than water a truth deeper than phishing a spam harder than rock He sank beneath your wisdom like a stone

i’m afraid of hurt feelings hurting feelings causing pain no you’re not, Tess, you have torn up too much to open Photo Booth now. don’t you dare do it. God

grant me the serenity

Once I tell God I won’t do something, I usually don’t do it. exit clause escape routes

pretty sure I didn’t coin the phrase escape valve and that it is a term of art, like the

wind carrier in tommy boy

i mean the

mail shoot

in tommy boy

the wind that blows his boat in the last scene

or is it the

pen

ultimate

scene

wherein tommy is on the water (shit i am gonna cry ) talking to his dad “I could use a little help”

son of a

that’s gonna leave a mark    

i want to leave

a mark            we all do

so badly so needily our fingers

pressed in every ink stamp the well has run so dry and then

though, all of these people i want to be are menstruating while i am not how hungry i am for my own blood  the manifestation of shakti who drinks from her own blood stream

opens her whole head up

this free write will not ‘save’ the world

this free write may even induce carpal tunnel

but i won’t be alone for it

SIC SIC SIC SIC SIC SIC SIC

we’re all so sick

so sick and so sick of the latest and worst and sick of being sick and tired  

la la la

it’s funny, not haha but haha

okay

sure

the way my mind chases its tail around i find myself sitting where i’ve been

cozying up to a mug from SEA WORLD

i have never been

the name elizabeth printed on it

I believe in the Resurrection. i can’t explain it to you and I don’t want to. I believe in the visitation of the angel Gabriel to Mary and I want so badly to be understood by one poet in particular. these minds these minds these minds  to whom I want to prostrate myself

SEE ME SEE ME PLEASE

It is enough, it is finished, I see you, Tessa I see you i see you baby i see you i see you you’re brilliant you are making so much sense you are making so much sense you don’t have to worry about publishing truths or falsehoods because that isn’t what you’re talking about here i relieve you this noose   | lifted |

this is not about political correctness an invention you hate and this is not about bigotry either because we both know you are not a bigot in any direction by any stretch

stretch

stretch

stretch mark of the imagination

cellulite dream we could be heros  just for one day

the need to justify when i said ego flex i meant

how precious our personhood is. when i am high and think only of how, deep down,

my pronouns are

she her he him his

how language  is nothing but everything  bang bang saxophone solo how your mind reading this does a different thing altogether how i bought a blanket 100% acrylic made in Ecuador how what other people think of me

nun of my business

none of my business that’s why I can’t let the right hand know what the left is doing. When I catch on is when the tail snakes back around

how i

felt like

Jessica was passing the torch of menses to me

how much shedding how much shedding

the baby voice,

sweet blessed infantilization of my poor old soul !!!!

{i mean it, Tess, you are flawed if you’re not free. oops that sunk in wrong i don’t blame you, jenny lewis

cat power I DONT BLAME YOU  my ex’s penis is still the sweetest penis that ever played inside my vagina}                                  alone together  a hashtag to build a dream on   give me a hashtag to build a dream on        i miss you God

not for sentimental reasons

but because being ripped from you is too easy to mistake for the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God

in other words, tracing my entrance back to your absence is not the work of my life is not the meat of being but it is easy to make the mistake of seeing the hole as the center when at the center is the Life itself

come on rude boy boy boy is you big enough

come on rude boy boy boy is you big enough

just now  already I nearly broke the no Photo Booth promise funny how quickly that happens EH

EH?

canadian bacon is a john candy film i have never seen    my adverbs of choice

holy

go

lightly

mmmmmm sweet sweet boredom the fear of ending is about the fear of dying? no, that’s not quite it. about the fear of being alone? yes! that’s it, that’s it.  traces back to the fundamental fallacy of Godlessness

of being separate it’s the whole platonic two halves bit

to have and to hold, till death do us part that’s the

traaaa   la la laaa laaaaaa

how can i trust myself without hyperlinks?

don’t let me be understood, God. just for today, grant me the serenity. Don’t let this be understood. Yes, I’m your angel. Yes, the reader does not need to know you’re thinking of a yoko ono song, that you’re worried about not attributing due credit to rihanna, that you have not looked at kim kardashian’s instagram since the

“pandemic”

“began” but that she showed up in your dream last night and that your sibling ‘got into’ with her, lightly, casually, cooly, wearing denim — my sibling was leaning in close to kim kardashian

AND SHE WAS

the tail of my mind is snaking back to ordinary complaints like

WHERE THE HECK ARE MY MISSING ALBUMS

1999

and

LITTLE CREATURES

they’re my favorite and they’re gone gone gone

how much of a new revelation

Janet Jackson’s song any time any place is to me

How inconsistency is at the heart of

not giving too many hoots

in certain contexts how meaning is relative how language is everything

nothing

how Jesus spoke in parables and contradictions how I never liked puzzles  literal ones    but how I walk around like I alone am meant to be solving the deepest puzzle of all

Reconciling myself back to the Source, i mean, to God Godself how a proliferation of healers come out of the woodwork into the email inbox offering discounts during this crisis and

who

am

I to judge?

There is one thing I ask of the Lord,

for this I long,

to live in the house of the Lord,

all the days of my life.

am i his temple? yes, no, maybe so, dawning on me is dish soap   sweet like the night inside

like the beginning of doing nothing

remaining alive. remaining human.

DONT JUST DO SOMETHING

SIT THERE

friends, i am still overwhelmed by your humanity. i find it so threatening, i can’t even begin to tell you. i don’t mean your mortality, moreso the fact that you’re just as deep

just as pulsing

just as curious just as in possession of some heart (human or not; shoutout to my girl elena with a porcine pulmonary valve) as i am

what that amounts is not fear of being not unique but rather that  the belonging we are called to is such a tall order such a tall order such a tall order  drive through window on foot people like memes

the readers in 3408 are like,

what’s a meme?

who can say if they will ‘google’ it?

I doubt the empire will rage that long …. the Empires on adderal the Empire fucking all millennia long on HARDON shoot i  am

not even trying

to be funny i can’t think of the name of that erection drug

i swear all that keeps coming up is PROZAC

leave it in the comments below, what’s that ED drug?  all my life